My story is a story of a life in the hands of the
Father. I would not be here with you
tonight if not for being held in His hands at the most vulnerable point in my
life. That point was in my mother’s
womb.
You see during the pregnancy my mother had a serious health
concern. She had a kidney stone and only
one kidney. The doctor gave her two
choices, she must have an abortion or
risk her life. My parents submitted to
the doctor’s advice and the abortion was performed. After the abortion, there was one complication, my mother was still pregnant. Of course the doctor was very concerned and
said a second abortion must be performed, for this child would be severely
deformed.
After sleeping on it my mother felt the Lord wanted her to
have this baby and refused. I stand
before you as miracle of the Lord’s protective hands; He would not allow me to
be aborted.
Psalm 139:13-16 is so true, “For you created my innermost
being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and
wonderfully made; my frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the
secret place. When I was woven together
in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in
Your book before one of them came to be.”
My whole life I have felt His presence. I have always been able to converse with the
Father and see Him working in my life.
There are times in my life where I should have feared for my safety, yet
I have always felt safe. Fear is the
tool of the enemy, but in the hands of the Most High there is nothing to
fear.
I sometimes wonder why me?
I may never know
completely. I do know one answer is that
He can do whatever He pleases. The
doctors wanted to take my life, but He would not allow it. One thing to be clear on, is that a child in
the womb is a life; a human being; a creation of God and no one has the right
to take that life, no one except the author of life Himself.
That said, I know there maybe someone out there who has had
an abortion. I have a word from our
Heavenly Father for you. You are
forgiven and your child was held in His hands at that moment and your child is
in paradise with Him today. If you know
someone who is struggling because of an abortion give them this word and pray
with them.
There are many times I have gotten off track and felt His
gentle touch guiding me back. Sometimes
His words are gentle, other times they are quite firm. He knows how to get the message through.
I have had a very blessed life, there have been struggles, but
the blessings far outweigh the trials.
Even many of the trials have led to great blessings. In all the challenges He has been there to
get me through. There are things I have
accomplished which are beyond me. Mark 9:23
says “Everything is possible for him who believes.” With God I can do anything, on my own I will
ultimately fail. This is available for
all who believe.
Sanctity of life is more than the life of an unborn
child. All life is sanctified. Struggles and trials are a part of all our
lives. Let me tell you of one which
caused deep buried pain in me and my experience in being healed by the Father’s
hands.
First I want to say I loved my mother dearly and she was a
wonderful person, a great friend to have.
We had many great moments together.
However there were three painful experiences in my life with her. Two of the three were times she attempted
suicide. Both times she knew I would
soon be there to rescue her. In both
cases I acted and did what I needed to save her life, but buried the
feelings. The third time was when she
passed away.
My mother had COPD and I knew she did not want to be on a
ventilator in the case where breathing became more difficult. I tried to call her hospice nurse and her doctor
and got no response. Finally I called
911 and the paramedics put her on a ventilator even though I explained to them
she did not want that. On the way to the
hospital she ripped it off. At the
emergency room I was able to tell them what she had written on her chart and
was allowed to be with her as she died, with no life support. I had never experienced this before.
As I watched the look on her face looked to me like a look
of disgust, a look I have seen before when she was disappointed. The feeling I buried was that of guilt,
justified or not, for not handling the situation perfectly. Once again a feeling buried. I did all I needed to do to prepare for her
memorial service and handling her final affairs, but not a tear fell from my
eyes.
For thirteen years this emotional and spiritual pain
remained buried. The Lord, as He always
has, kept His loving hands on me and saw me through those years. Protecting me and blessing me. It remained buried until He felt I was ready
for healing. During the period of time I
was writing my book, I was growing even closer to the Father. One day when I was alone in prayer I heard a
gurgling sound inside of me, like something trapped deep down coming out. I started gagging and coughing, than finally
a peace. So what was this? It was the Holy Spirit healing me. It was two days later when I was in church
suddenly memories of the night my mother died came to mind and for the first
time I truly grieved.
